Meet Isatu (aka Maria)

I wish one day they would have the chance to go to Africa with me to see their other grandparents, too. The last time my husband and I went, they were still too small to come with us. Maybe when they grow a little older, they can. I am still concerned about safety in my country. When Jeff and I went, I worried about the war starting all over, but it was terrific seeing my family after twelve years. I pray for peace in Sierra Leone, so we can visit again.

I just wanted to say writing my story wasn't easy for me. So many times, I thought of making it into a book, but told myself no one would want to read it. Inside voices also said, "Who do you think you are? You're not special or smart enough to do that." So I put it off and tried not to think much about it. But whenever someone asks me about my story and I share it, they say I should write a book about it. I respond with a smile and say, "Maybe one day." But in my head, I knew I'd never do it.

After many years, I felt God calling me to write my story. I fought against it saying, "But Lord, I don't want to. It hurts to go back and think of everything. I don't want to think of any of it. I just want to live my life the way it is right now and not dwell on the past. Then I realized God wanted me to tell of Him. God is not selfish in asking me that. He is not a child who seeks attention.

I'm the one who is selfish. All I worried about were my feelings. I never gave a thought to how God has been with me every step of the way. I was given a story to tell, even when it wasn't that pretty to go through.

But the beautiful part is when God was in every moment fighting for me, when I couldn't fight for myself. I will never know why things happened the way they did, but I am happy God was with me.

So, I wrote my story, even though it was painful. I cried through half of it. Every time I wrote something, I relived the pain and hurt all over again. Sometimes I paused for a long time, and other times I just kept writing through my tears because I knew God wanted me to share it.

To be honest, life isn't fair to some of you. You may have been called a name that cuts deep. Or your parents never wanted you, so they gave you away. Maybe everywhere you go you can't seem to fit in, like you're the odd one. So you stop trying and want to give up everything—even the air you breathe. Please don't give up. I understand it can be very hard.

Sometimes, during my country’s war, we lost hope. We didn't think anyone would make it, except for the rebels. I wanted to give up so badly, but I kept trying to stay alive. For what? I don't know, but God does.

My hope is that you will find encouragement through this story. My life verse is from Philippians 4:13.

“For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

I love this verse. Find the verse that gives you strength in Christ Jesus, and be able to forgive freely.

~ Isatu